Tuesday, October 6, 2015

I made a mistake! Please forgive me!

Study time!

We're starting in Mormon 4 and it's pretty cool stuff, because Mormon is showing his human side again, and I have to laugh. What did he do? He changed his mind! He felt bad after a choice he made. He felt guilty for abandoning those he loved!

And it came to pass that I did go forth among the Nephites, and did repent of the oath which I had made that I would no more assist them; 

What exactly does this mean? Every word and sentence counts, so what was Mormon doing "going forth among the Nephite's"? It sounds like he was going around apologizing for abandoning them, because since he had dumped them, they'd lost all their battles and the Lamanites were about to wipe them all out. 

Mormon had a big heart and didn't want to see that happen. He wanted to win them back.

and they gave me command again of their armies, for they looked upon me as though I could deliver them from their afflictions.

They were hoping for another miracle. Mormon wanted to give it to them more than anything. How often do we do this in our own lives. We could probably think of a lot of times where we do this for our kids. Saving them from their own bad choices. Granted, most choices our kids make won't literally kill them, wiping them out completely, but still, we don't want them to suffer terribly. What is the right choice here? I think it's individual to the situation. It takes prayer and sometimes fasting. I'm sure Mormon did plenty of this before he went back to leading them. The Lord probably gave his OK. I can't picture him doing it without it.

But behold, I was without hope, for I knew the judgments of the Lord which should come upon them; for they repented not of their iniquities, but did struggle for their lives without calling upon that Being who created them.

Pretty self explanatory. But how many times has Mormon gone through this cycle? At least he never gives up. He's persistent. He loves his people. He doesn't want to see them destroyed for real, even though he's already seen it in a vision. I guess he's trying to prolong it. But that also sounds like torture. But we go through torture for our own children too. I have three teenagers. Tortured is my middle name.

The next verses are about more battles, which, now that Mormon is leading them again, they win! I'll bet the Nephites think he holds powerful magic! It makes me wonder why they don't believe him about God also. But we often see what we want to see, and ignore the rest.

And now behold, I, Mormon, do not desire to harrow up the souls of men in casting before them such an awful scene of blood and carnage as was laid before mine eyes; but I, knowing that these things must surely be made known, and that all things which are hid must be revealed upon the house-tops—

Oh my. He is resisting telling us the terrible "whole" truth. He can't stand to describe it all once again. But he knows it has to be done and if he doesn't say it, someone else will be asked to. Many are called, but few are chosen. He does't just want to be called. He wants to be chosen too. Has this ever happened to you? Has the Lord ever asked you to do something you just didn't want to do? Did you accept or deny? I've done both. It's usually after the fact that I learn my mistake, but by then, it's over and there's no going back. 

And also that a knowledge of these things must come unto the remnant of these people, and also unto the Gentiles, who the Lord hath said should scatter this people, and this people should be counted as naught among them—

Wow! It's like watching an American History movie! The American Indians were absolutely counted as "naught" when the people wanted to colonize farther and farther west. None of their beliefs or history was important. They were considered animals, uncouth, and untrained. It's interesting that so many of their traditions and beliefs are back into popularity now, because, face it, truth is truth, and they did have some, which is why some of it is attractive.

—therefore I write a small abridgment, daring not to give a full account of the things which I have seen, because of the commandment which I have received, and also that ye might not have too great sorrow because of the wickedness of this people.

Whoa! He dares not tell all? It must be pretty dang terrible. His people must be beyond wicked and their destruction was beyond description. What does that entail? What were they doing that was so bad. Seriously? Could it be any worse than what our world is like now? Secret combinations among leaders? Craftiness among men? Murder, theft, rape and no conscience.

Our wars and secret combinations--and we all know they exist even if we aren't exactly sure where--are ruining our world. And we let them. We do. Otherwise the world wouldn't be like it is today. It seems impossible to fix. At least to me. What can one person do? I don't want to have a loud voice. Heck, I don't even want to write this blog. I'm not the person to lead a movement. I keep praying for someone else to stand up, but maybe that's what we're all doing. No wonder.

I'm not sure how to change this other than to take one small step at a time, to make my voice heard. That's why I'm writing this blog. I was told to, so I'm trying to be "chosen" and not just called. Maybe I'll be asked to do more in the future and this post is the first step in that direction. I guess we'll see.

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